Taking a break

So, I left St. Bernard Parish Friday night.

It was a long but good week. By the end of the week, over 2,000 volunteers went to work in St. Bernard in one day plus one former Presidential hopeful, Sen. John Edwards. He even came to the camp and took a tour of Camp Premier. Hopefully, he can help renew the funding that is scheduled to dry up on April 11 or help motivate someone to take over funding the camp from the state.

I believe the house count is close to if not over 600 houses as of Friday.

I don't know if I'm going back or not. I want to, but I'm tired. I'm not even certain I'm welcome, when it came time for me to leave - I just ran. I came back to Baton Rouge to work on a blitz build, and we're into the third day of it. I didn't work much on Saturday - I was there, but didn't work much. Not only that, but I learned that one of our homeowners isn't living in her house yet, and she probably should be. I feel as though if I had been around living up to my obligations there, that maybe she wouldn't sometimes have to sleep in her car.

All of these experiences are taking from me, and not giving back much. I've chosen this year, and it breaks my heart that others didn't make this choice - these things were just dumped in their lap. I'm learning that one person has limitations and that it takes more than just one-on-one experiences to really accomplish anything. I'm tired of goodbyes. I'm tired of feeling helpless. There were very similar feelings of frustration that brought me to live this year as I'm trying.

There's good work in St. Bernard. There are good people there too. There are also normal people - people that you run into every day with the same frustrations and shortcomings as the rest of us. But that doesn't mean they don't need help. The same can be said of the work in Baton Rouge, or anywhere I'm certain. Just as I learned I don't have to leave the country to help those in need, I don't get to choose those that need help, and sometimes it's not just the people we're trying to help that need it, but so do those of us who are trying to do it.

If you're reading this merely because you're interested in St. Bernard Parish - I'll see if I can stay current on the house count and numbers of volunteers and keep you up to date if I don't go back. I'm not promising anything though, not to anyone. I don't know if I'm staying in Baton Rouge after this week, going back to St. Bernard Parish, or just going for a very long motorcycle ride. But, I will live up to my commitment to continue to work from my heart - even if it kills me.